


Alien

by SakumiYukime



Series: Klangst Week 2018 [6]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Awkward Keith (Voltron), Insecure Lance (Voltron), Klangst Week 2018, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Self-Doubt, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Worth Issues, Someone Help Them, They're both amazing and so stupid, human/alien - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-17 07:36:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakumiYukime/pseuds/SakumiYukime
Summary: “Why can't you do anything right?" The voice continues, questioning him and his fears.Keith doesn't have an answer. He doesn't even know if he wants to know the answer. Keith stiffens when he hears a sob, wondering when did he start crying.But he didn't. It wasn't him.





	Alien

Keith wakes up in a cold sweat, heart racing in his chest like he had been training for hours non stop.

He tries to breathe, taking a deep breath. Yet, the more he inhales the more it feels like he's suffocating.

Flashes of his dream continue to pass behind his eyes, dragging a chill down his spine. Keith sighs, shakes his head, tries to breathe while hoping to calm down.

But he can't.

He can't seem to make his heartbeat slow down or the ache in his chest ease, so he stays there, suffocating in his own fears, begging for them to stop.

The galra. How unbelievably similar he is to them. Had he been born purple, no one could tell the difference. No one would think he was human - Because, maybe he isn’t.

And he can’t do anything about it, the more he tries, the more he ends up acting like them.

“You're so goddamn useless.” He hears. A mumbled voice just loud enough for him to notice. Keith agrees with it, softly leaning against the cold wall behind him. “Why can't you do anything right?"

The voice continues, questioning him and his fears.

Keith doesn't have an answer. He doesn't even know if he wants to know the answer.

The black haired teen stiffens when he hears a sob, his two purple eyes widening in the darkness of his room. He wonders when had he started crying.

But he didn't. It wasn't him.

A stream of sobs flows from the other side, right behind his wall, and Keith can almost hear the immense stream of thoughts.

 

_You don't belong here. Out of place._

_Surrounded by people so much more amazing, smart and fitting than you. Real paladins._

_You can’t reach, too far behind to shorten the gap of skill._

_You’re useless. You don’t have any talent._

_You’re just the regular guy. The average one, so all the others can shine next to you._

 

It’s not the first time he hears him. Probably won't be the last.

Keith has to admit he was shocked when he first noticed it. He never had much trouble sleeping, sometimes there were nightmares, but they weren't regular. Nowadays, though, Keith couldn't say that anymore, and most of those nights when he woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn't alone.

Right next to him, in the room right beside his, Lance lay on his bed awake for hours - drowning in his own fears and insecurities.

He had heard him enough times to know what worried him - He missed his family, wondering if they even know he is alive. He underestimated his own skills because he always seemed to think he was not good enough. Or that he would never be able to reach and close the gap between them.

Keith was surprised when he realised that the 'cocky goofball' Lance appeared to be was actually just a mask to hide away all his insecurities. It was unexpected yet surprisingly obvious.

A stream of sobs flowed from Lance’s room, instantly muffled by his own pillow, in a useless attempt to hide them. The black haired teen remained quiet, listening to the hiccups that soon followed, his back against the wall while his eyes remained closed.

The thought that always crossed his mind peered up again, and he wondered if he could do anything to help - If Lance wanted any help. If he would accept _his_ help.

He probably wouldn’t.

 _Shiro would know what to do,_ Keith's mind drifted. He too was useless.

Maybe Keith could talk with Hunk. He and Lance seemed to be very good and close friends. He probably knew what to do to help. But then, again, did Hunk know about it? Did anyone know about this? 

If Lance was hiding this from everyone he would never forgive him for letting it out in the open. 

Keith felt the frustration bubble inside his stomach. He hated not knowing what to do. He hated how inhuman it made him feel - Like he didn't care. Like he couldn’t be compassionate towards others.

The thought made him recall his nightmares and realise how close to reality they were.  
Helped him realise how much further away from a human he was getting and how much closer to a monster he was becoming.

 

_You’re just dragging them down._

 

Keith wondered if he heard it or if he had imagined it. The voice.

If it was in his own head, or if Lance had said it.

 

He wants to do something about it, or at least try.

If he couldn’t make his own words reach, maybe he could just punch some sense into Lance.

Keith knew he was being impulsive, and how much he would regret his actions when Lance refused his good intentions.

Still, he was tired.

Tired of waking up to those cries and do nothing to stop them. Tired of listening to them so regularly and how they only faded when exhaustion took over.

He got up, leaving his bed, not bothering thing to put his boots on. The floor was cold against his feet, sending a chill through his body that Keith easily ignored. His hand touched the panel and soon he was in front of Lance's room.

Keith swallowed down his own anxiety, giving a loud knock on the door. Instantly, Lance went quiet, raising his head to look at the door to his side while wondering if he heard right, or if he had just imagined it.

“Lance?” He definitely didn’t imagine the knock, nor the voice that sounded from outside his room. Yet, the blue paladin doesn’t move, lying down on his bed as quiet as he could.

Because, yeah, maybe if he remained still and quiet, whoever it was would assume he was asleep, give up and leave.

At least, he hoped so.

“Lance? Open the door!”

Silence followed once more, both from outside and inside the room.

The blue paladin heard a small thud on his door and he assumed whoever was calling him had decided to rest his head against the cold metal.

Lance managed to muffle a sigh.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to open the door. He really wants to let someone in, hide in someone else’s arms and cry the rest of the tears he has left.

But, he doesn’t want to explain why he is feeling this way. He doesn’t want to admit how regularly he feels like this. He doesn’t want to talk about it. - He doesn't know he won't have to.

Lance just wants to lay in bed, indefinitely, until it stops. He knows, that eventually he’ll fall asleep, and in the morning everything would be alright again.

“Lance?” There’s a pinch of annoyance, familiar enough to make the voice recognizable.

_Keith._

Of course it had to be _Keith_. Perfect mullet boy _Keith_.

Best pilot of his generation. Probably one of the best pilots on earth. _On the whole universe._

Stupid mullet that could fly his lion through an asteroid belt he had never seen before, or between 2 black holes like it was nothing. Of course, the universe was going to send him exactly the only person that wouldn’t understand how he felt. Because Keith is way too good at everything to know what it’s like to be the useless unreliable one.

The thought was involuntary but doesn't help, leaving the blue eyed paladin too aware of the clear gap between them.

“I know you’re awake. I can hear you…” Keith’s voice sounded from the other side of the door while his hand slides across the cold metal.  Lance listens to the pacing of his feet as he turns around, his back hitting the door, and sliding till he sits on the floor. “Let me in…”

Lance isn’t sure why he doesn’t answer. He knows there’s no point in pretending to be asleep. He knows it, but he remains quiet.

“You know… The hallway is actually pretty cold…” He doesn’t want to admit, but Keith’s voice is calming enough to help him focus only on his words. The voice is sweet enough to drag him from the hollowed pit where he keeps falling.

Keith sighs and wonders why his voice sounds foreign to his own ears. He leans backward until his head bangs against the door. Again.

He doesn’t understand why he is sitting outside Lance’s door, waiting for him to, at least, acknowledge his presence.

The red paladin doesn’t make an effort to move. After all, going back to his own room is pointless. He wasn’t going to be able to sleep for a while.

Not after the nightmare.

Not after waking up in a cold sweat and hear the muffled cries from next door.

Keith looks ahead, to nowhere in particular, finding a sudden interest in the wall in front of him.

He barely hears his own voice, just a soft breath barely above a whisper. He can pinpoint the exact moment where it almost cracks, “Lance? Please… Let me in…”

_But he doesn’t._

**Author's Note:**

> Comes back two weeks after Klangst Week ends.  
> Truth is I've had the last 3 prompts sitting on my drafts for a while, but college has been way too exhausting and I haven't been in the mood to finish them :/


End file.
